Half a year gone by

Its been almost half a year since I've blogged. Time passes so unbelivably fast that sometimes I just wanna live in denial. Denial of the fact that I'm older by 6 months and that reminds me of the long list of 2008 goals that I've yet to achieve or even get started on. Call it proscratination, or laziness or lack of time, its just really hard to get it going.

Sometimes I think holding a full-time job does affect what you really want to achieve outside work. Maybe its just me, the tiredness after work just makes me wanna do nothing when I get home. I've been wanting to start reworking on my internet business but just can't get around doing it. My day job requires me to face the PC whole day long and the thought of facing it again after work just doesn't motivate me, even if it will help to increase my income.

Then again, the thought of creating new content for my fashion portal just seems too much work and in the end I rather leave it as it is. Sometimes I thought of starting a new portal but since I don't have a concrete plan mapped out, it makes things difficult. Ultimately its really about not wanting to spend anymore time on work outside work.

I started to reflect on how I really spend my time outside work and concluded that my free time is spent on sleeping, reading books, watching dramas (sometimes only), working out, catching up with friends and church activities. Working on my internet business means I have to forego one or more of these activities, which are all important to me, or simply quit my job and do this full-time. Such is the dilemma of life, doing this full-time poses much risk, especially with such display of my laziness and lack of discipline, yet it is something I desire to do. How do one make a difficult choice like this? It is really not any child's play, considering that as one gets older, the more we have to be responsible for the consequences of our own actions. The struggles of adulthood is really like a thorn in the flesh, not really knowing how to pluck it out and produces pain if it does get plucked out.

Anyway I still think I really need to get started no matter what. With my new found faith in God, I make an effort to ask for God's help whenever I can. It is no longer something that can be achieved by my own efforts. Surely he knows my thoughts, my struggles and weakness. I leave everything into my heavenly father's hand and trust that he will help me bring about the change I so needed. Lord please help me....