Live your calling

Look up! The great cloud of witnesses stands near, exhorting you to fulfill your mission in God's great plan. It is not too late to begin. God loves you and wants you to be included in the work of his kingdom. Listen to the voices all around that urge you to accept the challenge to live your calling: Seize the day. Make your life count for eternity. Walk worthy of your calling because nothing else truely matters.

I'm living by faith from now

There is an eagle in me that wants to soar, and there is a hippopotamus in me that wants to wallow in the mud ~ Carl Sandburg

Have you ever shared the same sentiment? Do you feel like you can achieve something but don't know what is it or where to start? Do you feel a constant urge to excel or do more of the stuff THAT MATTERS TO YOU but still not doing anything yet? 

The reason for this procrastination is nothing than the four letter word FEAR. We worry or doubt too much of our own abilities that we stay paralysed. Our tunnel vision can only see what our current situation is and cannot visualise the desired outcome or success so we can only stay hopeful. 

The thing is God loves everybody and has a great plan and destiny that is unique to each of us and will prosper us. So why are we still afraid? 

I am no exception, I have my own fears like everybody else. My fears & confusion were born out of the past mistakes, failures and wrong choices I made. I know God loves me and have a great plan for me but I still struggled with wanting to soar and feeling like getting 'stucked' on the ground at the same time. So I avoid making decisions nowadays and leaving it to God to bring clarity when I'm unsure.

Recently I made a difficult decision to leave my job that I've worked at for 1.5yrs, reason being it is not a long stay and I was trying to hang on to it for at least 2 yrs so it looks good on my resume. In fact this is the longest job I ever held (this is not a good thing) and I sincerely did want to stay for more than 2 years. It was a decision I arrived after much praying and crying out to God for help and guidance. I already wanted to leave much earlier but I held on to it because I don't think its a right thing to do and I felt gulity about leaving and there's no peace at all. 

So I endured till now and its finally eating into me. The situation in company did become better (after much praying for the company) but its me who got worst. My performance slipped and I lost heart and motivation in my job so much that I felt its better to leave now than be a burden and affecting everyone. I tried to make an effort but I can't help it, I just can't stay on any longer as much as I will like to. The funny thing now is that the more I prayed about this, the more at peace I am to make this decision. Because I keep proscrating on submitting my resignation, this thought is like bombarding my mind 24/7. Logically I know if I leave now it is a risk and might not do good for my future, but deep down I know I need to leave but I just haven't got around doing it. So I need to trust God that he knows what I'm doing and have faith in him that he will see me through this period of darkness and gloom about my future. 

I'm still not 100% sure on my direction and what's the plan after this, but I do know that the first thing I'll do is to start working on my online marketing stuff and hopefully the tiny side income and grow into full-time income for me. The income from my internet marketing continue to grow bits by bits PASSIVELY even though I have stopped working on it for a year, but somehow I think I can take it further if I work on it. It is absolutely impossible not to think about this or stay away from it when you actually see yourself making money that grows by itself passively! I can't help but be drawn back to this! 

You see, internet marketing is something I came into by chance, which I have no intial interest, planning or intention to do. Initially I just wanted to sell fashion items online but I ventured into affiliate marketing somehow. Naturally, my interest in this had grown when I see results. I believe its God's blessing not just on the financial side, but also for the little talent and desire that he had given me on internet marketing. 

It might sound like this is a clear direction for me, but I have doubts. It is only generating a 3-figure sum and I don't have the confidence that I will be so good that I can generate a full-time income within 3 months, so the conflicting thoughts of finding a MNC job with good pay and prospects are on my mind too.

So after months of tormenting myself with the question of should I leave my job and when should I leave, I just don't care anymore. The answer is clear, I should leave now. I don't know how my future is going to be like but I know God does and I trust him to protect me, to provide for me and guide me to the right places. In Proverbs 16:9, it says 'In his heart a man plans his course but the Lord directs his steps'. Surely with God behind, I know I will be fine and I will survive. I am living purely by faith from now and I thank God for this chance.

Recently I was questioning why some people can attain successful business, financial freedom, self-employment, more time more freedom, working on something they like and earning good income while some people are praying for good job opportunities with good pay, pay increments, good bosses, bonuses etc. Then God revealed something to me, he simply said because these people don't dare to dream big. God is still good to those who sincerely prayed for good jobs & its perks to come by, but if they dare to ask for a bigger dream, God can help them too. 

Many times we don't actually believe we can do what's needed to achieve our 'unrealistic' big dreams, whether it is conciously or subconciously, so we pray for more 'realistic' stuff. Dreams and visions come from God, they are usually God-sized callings. We need to internalise and visualise our God-size callings to turn it into reality with God's help. When we do that, God will start getting more involved in our dreams. This is when we start actively and conciously praying for God's help, to ask him for faith and courage to take actions, the wisdom on the steps to take, the creativity to create new things and his supernatural grace to breakthrough and his blessings to make our dreams come true. Do you agree?