Don't Worry, Be Happy!

Song playing now: John Durbar - Main theme (OST Dances With Wolves)

Recapping on the part where Jerry's life is in danger after the gunshot, it is amazing that he can remain so optimisstic about life and even made a joke out of his unfortunate situation.

Not long ago, I had a somewhat similar experience, of course its not a gunshot, if not I would have made news.

I had a bad fracture 2 months ago, where I broke my 2 bones in my left forearm (directly below the elbow). I fell down on my bum while roller-bladding and it happened as I instinctively tried to break the fall with my arms landing backwards. Yeah I know, it sounds silly but when it happens, it happens.

There was a loud cracking sound and at that moment I knew I was doomed. I knew people who broke their bones but I never thought this kind of thing will happen to me! Images of me lying on hospital bed, surgery and the operating theatre flooded my mind instantly. My friend keep pacifying me by saying my fracture might not be that bad but deep inside I knew intuitively that this can't be any better and an operation is something I can't avoid. Worse of all, I was supposed to depart Singapore for a holiday 2 days later and this thing happened so untimely!

Anyway, its a terrible experience and its quite gruesome if I'm to go into details of my ordeal during the 8 hrs interval from the time I fracture to the time I was wheeled into the op theatre. So I had an op to insert 2 long metal pieces abt 2 inches each in my arm and spent 3 days in the hospital. For someone who went through an operation and hospitalization for the first time in life, there is always a kind of loneliness and fear of the unknown.

After the surgery, I was quite upset to see my arm swollen like an elephant's leg, not to mention the horrible scars! What depressed me more was that my movements were very limited and I can't even do simple things like turning my arm, touching my shoulder and even unhooking my bra was a problem! I was also quite an active person all along who frequented the gym regularly but after this incident, I had to put a stop to my active lifestyle and this add to my depression as well.

Now I am proud to announce that my arm has recovered well and I've regained 90% of my movements, thanks to my weekly therapy session plus my own determination to do the exercises at home everyday. It is easy to lose hope when you get paranoid and keep thinking 'I can't do this and that anymore'. I just keep telling myself 'No! I won't settle for anything less than before and I want to be able to do anything I want!'

As for the ugly scars, they will never go away, although its a bit better now after all the massaging and putting scar patches.

Well after talking so much, the most important thing I learnt from this experience is that forcing yourself to think positively and not rejecting what has happened will allow you to have an easier time. It gives you the strength and courage to face what you will be going through next. Although fracture is a common thing but when it happens to you, things are different.

From the start when I'm in tremendous pain, I tried to take things easy by talking to my friend, who drove me to the hospital and even make a few 'cold jokes' along the way. Of course I didn't take it so easy all the time, but everytime I start wallowing in self-pity, I will tell myself that things happen for a reason - to make me more independent (both physically and emotionally) and stronger, to cherish my life and stop procrastinating on things I always feel like doing after all these time 'wasted' during recovery.

When I think of my ruined holiday and spending the days in hospital, I will imagine this crisis is to prevent me from going away because something bigger will happen if I do so! I know this sounds morbid but sometimes I think you haven't really live till you know how this massive pain taste like! Well, it sounds silly but this is what I call the power of positive thinking!

I don't hide my two 9cm long scars and I don't mind looking 'ugly' because I don't like to restrict myself. Just like Jerry, whenever my people ask me about my arm, I will 'happily' show them my scars and let them feel the metal and screws - only if they dare! I even joked that I can camouflaged my scars as a cool tattoo in future.

Anyway this is not the end as I still have to go through another operation to take out the metal pieces probably 1 or 2 years later. All I can say is that I'm better prepared this time round and I'm ready to face another round of operation and skin healing.

Yes I'm gonna resume my weekly exercise soon, although I still can't do strenuous workouts. In case you might wonder, I will still blade in future but this time with full protective gears on and someone to hold my hand along the way till I feel secure enough to blade on my own again! Afterall, the cliche 'Don't Worry, be happy!' isn't really that cliche...don't you think so? :)