Half a year gone by

Its been almost half a year since I've blogged. Time passes so unbelivably fast that sometimes I just wanna live in denial. Denial of the fact that I'm older by 6 months and that reminds me of the long list of 2008 goals that I've yet to achieve or even get started on. Call it proscratination, or laziness or lack of time, its just really hard to get it going.

Sometimes I think holding a full-time job does affect what you really want to achieve outside work. Maybe its just me, the tiredness after work just makes me wanna do nothing when I get home. I've been wanting to start reworking on my internet business but just can't get around doing it. My day job requires me to face the PC whole day long and the thought of facing it again after work just doesn't motivate me, even if it will help to increase my income.

Then again, the thought of creating new content for my fashion portal just seems too much work and in the end I rather leave it as it is. Sometimes I thought of starting a new portal but since I don't have a concrete plan mapped out, it makes things difficult. Ultimately its really about not wanting to spend anymore time on work outside work.

I started to reflect on how I really spend my time outside work and concluded that my free time is spent on sleeping, reading books, watching dramas (sometimes only), working out, catching up with friends and church activities. Working on my internet business means I have to forego one or more of these activities, which are all important to me, or simply quit my job and do this full-time. Such is the dilemma of life, doing this full-time poses much risk, especially with such display of my laziness and lack of discipline, yet it is something I desire to do. How do one make a difficult choice like this? It is really not any child's play, considering that as one gets older, the more we have to be responsible for the consequences of our own actions. The struggles of adulthood is really like a thorn in the flesh, not really knowing how to pluck it out and produces pain if it does get plucked out.

Anyway I still think I really need to get started no matter what. With my new found faith in God, I make an effort to ask for God's help whenever I can. It is no longer something that can be achieved by my own efforts. Surely he knows my thoughts, my struggles and weakness. I leave everything into my heavenly father's hand and trust that he will help me bring about the change I so needed. Lord please help me....

My Spiritual Journey (12 Jan 08)

Live a life of servanthood for GOD, for his kingdom and for his glory.

God makes us the HEAD and not the tail.

Be persistent in your prayers and KNOW that GOD will answer them in due time. Sow lots of faith, persistence and patience in your prayers and you shall reap! (Luke 18:1-8)

The key to success is to be humble, listen more than talk and don't be quick to react, always take the lower position and deny yourself (Luke 18:14)

We must always come with a believing, trusting, innocent and anticipating attitude towards our walk with GOD, just like little children (Luke 18:17)

Take good care of what GOD has given you (your money, valuables, talents, gifts etc) and put them to good and productive use. Do not ever take them for granted for these belong to GOD, it is GOD who put them in you, it is not because of luck or your own ability. If they are misused, GOD has the right to take them away from you and give them to someone else more deserving in his eyes. (Luke 19:26)

Surely you will have enemies and experience betrayal and persecution in life, but you will never need to worry or fear, just stand stand firm knowing you have GOD as backing and he will deliver you. (Luke 21:19)

When you are dreaded with fear and worry, you can't hear GOD even if he is trying to call out to you. Calm you mind and your thoughts and you will receive GOD. When you felt your heart burning over a message that you hear or saw in the Bible, it is GOD speaking to you, take heed. Act with faith after you hear GOD's message, run after your GOD given goals! (Luke 24:17-33)

Conversations With GOD...

Dear child...

You have many questions about your life - why you are here, why you are in these circumstances, why you have such characteristics, why certain things happened, why it is so difficult, what is your purpose and destiny, how will the future be...

You might not find an answer from me to every question and even with answers, they are not easily comprehensible. However, I still want to leave these in you heart:

You are not a chance encounter, I have put you here for a reason. You are meant to have a great destiny and fulfilling life. I have given you a unique blend of characteristics, personality, attributes and talents that sets you apart from the rest. Do not compare yourself to others my dear, for everyone is unique, what you are set out to accomplish in this life is different from anyone and can only be fulfilled by you. Your personality and characteristics exist because they are the tools needed to fulfill it.

You are who you are because it is meant to be so in the beginning, so love and accept yourself with joy. You are called to be independent because soon you will realise you need this as you walk the narrow path with me. Your childhood, family, upbringing and moral values are not by chance, for I have it planned it before you are born. I have already start leading you even if you have not known me yet.

I have watched over your thoughts and response to love & relationships from the beginning till now, and I am overjoyed that you are making good progress. The world might frown upon you, but in my eyes these are the greatest thing that can happen and I will always make you free and pure. With me in you, you are no longer hard-hearted and incapable of love. In time to come you will realise that because you didn't comprise on the standards that I placed innately in you, you will experience beautiful things that is beyond your expectation and understanding. It will be like watching breadth-taking fireworks or wonderful sceneries everyday!

You have to understand that sometimes your prayers do not get answered because I want to give you a big surprise when it does happen, especially when you least expect it. Sometimes it is because you are not ready yet and I still need to nuture you a bit more so that you will not get hurt. Patience might be difficult but all you need to do is to put your trust in me and worked together with me, soon you will realised everything is worth the wait!

My spirit is always inside you but it remained dormant in the past, always watching over you silently from behind and trying to befriend you. I start to get active when you finally know me, because I want to be your advisor and companion whenever and wherever you go. When you call upon me, you will hear my voice and never will you be alone and feel lonely again. When trouble comes and difficulties arise, I will support you and help you get through it, you don't have to walk alone.

Know that I will never leave and forsake you my dearest, even in worst times or even if you turn away from me. This is because you are my son Jesus's dear one, anyone who is dear to him will be dear to me like my own sons and daughters. So know that I only want the best for you. When you are experiencing fears, hopelessness, confusion and difficulties, know that I am already laying out path for you to redeem you out of these traps, so you must endure for the time being and just keep on trusting me.

Remember my words, for when you looked back many years from now, you will realise that these things that I said today will come to pass. You might not understand what is going on or what exactly will happen, for these things are hard to explain but if you believe in me, you will see everything for yourself. It will be a joyous moment and there will be tears in your eyes, love, happiness and graditude in your chest.

Yes, life can be good! Always remember these words my dearest, don't ever forget...

With lots of love,
Your heavenly father, GOD

Music From Heaven

I've been addicted to Jarrod Elmore CD recently..its very soothing to play this, especially at night and I don't get tired of it at all. His music is light as feather and you seems to be floating along with it, as if its straight out of the speakers from heaven.

When I first heard Jarrod Elmore's music on the internet (I was at my workdesk), it captivated me immediately that I did a search on him to read up more about this guy.

Dance of Grace (2006) is the first album for Jarrod Elmore and I'm really touched by his humbleness because of what he said in the interview with http://www.cdbaby.com/:

"It reminds me that the melodies came from somewhere else. I feel arrogant taking credit for them, as if I worked so hard on them and utilized my college education to study, analyze, and perfect them. I didn't.I really just sat down and listened. And these melodies are what I heard. As I sit and listen to the record, I'm aware that I really am just a partially cool guy from Oklahoma with average fashion sense and a corny sense of humor. I'm really not anything special. God must have used my hands. That's the only explanation that I have."

God sure did a great work...his music is different from other great new age artistes like Suzanne Ciani, George Winston and Jimmy Brickman. Its hard to explain the difference but there's this element of peace and healing that reaches right into the heart and soul when you play the album and really listen to it.

Anyway his album is not even sold in Singapore and I had to buy the mp3 tracks from http://www.tradebit.com/ , I hope to be able to get his piano scores though, it's currently not avaliable.

I always have an affinity for new age and classical/instrumental music, which many of them are equally captivating. My top favs are: Suzanne Ciani, George Winston, Kenny G, The Secret Garden, Kevin Kern, Enya, IL Divo, John Barry, Yuki Nishimura, Yimura and David Garrett (my lastest fav!)

I got to learn about his music from http://www.live365.com/ , if you have not check out this site then you are missing out something wonderful. Live365 is the no.1 free internet radio and it has over 1000 channels over 300+ genre. Half of these channels are live broadcast from other countries..there's korean music, jap music, chinese music, latino, new age, jazz..whatever you seek is most likely to be found there.

Music is indeed powerful. Its really amazing how music can speak to us; we cry, laugh, smile, cheer and dream with it afterall..it is a channel that helps us get in tuned with ourselves. While songs with lyrics guide us to relate to certain issues, songs without lyrics do even more as they have to speak to our soul. And what does that means? Someone said that communicating to the soul doesn't need to make sense, if your soul responds to it then it's understood, your brain doesn't need to. :)

My reflections on an old posting from 2004

How time flies since my last post in Dec2006 and now we have entered June2007. My oh my...1.5 years older and another few months to go before I cross my 27 mark. As I read through my old postings, it brought back the memories of the old issues that I were battling with back then and how I've grown and changed in terms of my approach and outlook to these issues and life in general. Although I'm still growing and learning through my issues, I've learnt to handle them in a more positive manner. For a fact, everyone has their own internal issues, ltitle 'voices' or 'demons' in their heads that nobody can be free from, its how you react to them that matters and it does get better with god's help.

I had to thank this wonderful and pretty lady by the name of Lisan to bring my attention to my dormant blog. She sent me a message in Friendster to tell me that one of my old posts in my blog was in the limelight again. Lisan, by the way, is a big fan of Huang Yida. Yes, my old post 'Tribute to Yida' had made its way to his blog again (it was being mentioned in his blog sometime back), this time being translated to Chinese so that his fans from China and Taiwan can understand...how thoughtful! Hey Yida, thanks for putting my article on your blog and sharing it with your fans. It is fantastic, I really like the way it is translated...I find that the Chinese version has even more meaning and depth to it, much better than the one I wrote.

Frankly speaking, I'm not Yida's fan...I don't know him well and I don't know why I choose to write about him of all people, probably because he was the only home grown singer whom I've known briefly during his pre-fame days and so his success had a direct trigger and I really admired his hardworking spirit and determination.

I'm so glad to have written this, its a testimony of his journey to success. Through his example it shows you can achieve your goal if you put your mind on it. I'm not saying that everyone can be a singer or celebrity through hard work, this industry is not for everyone and sometimes hardwork is futile because it was applied on the wrong goal in the first place. How do you know whether its the right or wrong goal to pursue? Well..its innate..you will know its the wrong one when your talents start showing up elsewhere (e.g. making jewelry, good at sales, good at business etc). So here you go: Right goal + determination + hardwork + passion = Success!

Yida, I'm happy to see how you have grown during these years. Your talents, hardwork and dogged determination have paid off, the seeds sown are harvesting and I know you will continue to prosper. I've seen so many aspiring artises failed here, probably only 1% or less make it. You are truly blessed to be where you are today and to have so many people and fans supporting you and contributing to your success, so you must continue to give your best. With fame comes the responsibility and power, I pray that you will be blessed with more and that your talents can served to inspire, influence, give back and make a difference to others, to your fans, industry and community in a positive way. Hope to see you on our local media more often..God bless! :)

Tribute to Yida (對Yida 的稱頌)

Have you truly felt passionate about something that you think this is what you wish to dedicate your life to? I always admire people who have this kind of spirit and determination to pursue what they believe in and possess the 'ain’t any mountains higher' mindset. We all have heard of the good old theory that to achieve our dreams, we have to be proactive and establish certain traits but how many people actually do it? Perhaps 1 out of 10 will do it, but only 1 out of 100 will grit their teeth and stay through the end.

你有沒有對某件事充滿使命感，而決定了你以後的人生目標 ?我一直都欣賞有這種精神和決心追求目標的人，他們相信並且擁有 “沒有任何事不能做”的心態。我們都會參考以往的好方法，去追求我們的夢想，但實際上有多少人能積極去做呢??或者有十分之一，但是，亦可能只有百之一會咬實牙關，堅持到最後去完成它。

I was tuning in to 100.3FM on my way home yesterday when Lee Wei Song started talking during the commercial break. By the way, Lee Wei Song is the founder of the Lee Wei Song School of music, where Stephanie Sun was discovered and groomed into a superstar.

昨天在我回家的路上，從電台的節目中，聽到李偉菘的對談。(李偉菘是音樂李偉菘學校的創建者，Stefanie Sun就是在那裡被發崛，及之後成為superstar。)

Anyway, Lee Wei Song was dedicating a tribute to Huang Yida - the next up and coming homegrown singer. He was saying that Yida's road to become a singer had been an arduous one, and that he had been a student with the school when it first started 9 years ago. Throughout these 9 years, his dream of becoming a singer had never wavered and he was determined to do whatever it takes to get there. In fact, he dropped out of secondary school to take the path less taken to follow his passion in singing despite strong parental objections. He even came back to continue his training as an all rounded musician after serving his NS.

李偉菘在節目中稱讚Yida Huang - 他是下位在本地(新加坡)崛起的歌手。他說︰九年前，Yida 已經是這間學校的學生，在他成為歌手之前，他的路一直都很艱辛。而在這9 年的過程中，他想成為歌手的夢想，從未搖動過，而且他的決心相當堅定，並且誓要做到。事實上，從他在中學時代就選擇退學，而且不顧父母的反對，而踏上音樂之路，都可見他對音樂熱愛的程度。他甚而完成NS (我想是新加坡的兵役)後，回到音樂學校繼續他的音樂訓練課程。

As a teenager who embarked on this journey at the tender age of 15, he had to overcome all the odds against him and face all the uncertainties in the future when his peers had already achieved much more by society's standards. After 9 grueling years, at the age of 24, he finally realized his dream. As his mentor, Lee Wei Song was really happy that Yida finally made it after coming a long way.

在這個音樂成長旅程中，對於一個15歲的少年來說，他必須克服所有反對的聲音，以及面對不肯定的未來。9年的辛勞後, 在YiDA 24 歲的時候，終於實現了他的夢想。李偉菘作為Yida 的良師益友，他是多麼高興的，因為經過這麼長的時間，Yida最終都能完成他自己的夢想。

Although it is common that the road to stardom is not as glamorous as it seems and there are always lots of obstacles involved, I still want to salute him for his success.

縱使遇到不同的障礙，都是演藝界常見的路，但我仍然想要為義達的成功敬禮。

7 years ago, my girl friend and I were sitting outside Ngee Ann City while waiting to start work at Mandarin Hotel. Across us sat a group of guys who later came over to talk to us. Among them, Yida was one of them. Yup, Yida is his real name. At that time, this grunge and dreamy guy with long hair had already exuded a kind of X-factor in terms of personality & looks - a feeling that he was different and possessed the 'I-have-a-dream' kind of look. He left a deep impression on me because of what he said to us at that time. He mentioned he was learning music at this music school and that someday he will become a singer. My friend and I were quite taken aback by his words, but somehow we never really take it seriously because technically speaking, this is not politically correct at that time.

7 年前，我跟女朋友在上班前，坐在Ngee Ann City 的Mandarin Hotel外。有一班年青人，他們走過來跟我們談話。在他們之中, Yida 是他們的當中一個。無錯，Yida 是他的真名。那時，穿著當時青少年流行的服飾和作夢的傢伙，留著長長的頭髮已經流露出一副很有個性的樣子，你會覺得他是與別不同的及擁有一副 “我有夢想” 的樣子。我對他留下了一個深刻的印象，是因為那時他對我們說︰他在音樂學校學音樂，而且將來的某一天他會成為歌手，對於他所說的話，我們都不知如何是好，在當時的情況下，我們根本不會認真去相信他說的話。

That was my brief encounter with him, although my friend knew him a bit better back then. Well, I have to say that I was quite surprised to see his new album and hear his songs on radio. Those words that he said last time meant much to him and he was not just saying it for fun. Well Yida, if you ever see this, I wanna wish you all the best in your singing career and don't ever give up on your 'never say die' attitude. You can be a very good source of inspiration for others!

那是我與他相遇的情形。我必須說，當我看到他的發行的專輯和從電台聽到他的歌曲後，我都感到驚訝。因為他當天所說的並不是開玩笑。Yida，如果您看見這文章, 我祝願您歌唱事業發展順利，及永遠不要放棄你那種“永不言敗” 的態度。你能為成為別人的推動力.

Finding one's passion is like a needle in haystack. Yida are just one of the rare souls who have discovered 'it' from young and make it the one thing to pursue in life. Most people never really know what they wanna do until much later. Some are forever searching for it, some never found it, and some found it but never work on it, while some don't even know this thing call passion.

尋找一個人的使命，就如在草堆埋針一樣。Yida 是罕見的一個，因為他從年輕的時候，已經發現了 “它”，並且不斷去追求它。很多人到最後，都從未真正知道什麼是他們想要的。有一些人會一直去尋找, 一些一直都沒找到, 一些找到了卻從未完成它, 甚至不知道這就是使命。

As for me, I can't say I have found my passion but I'm working hard to find it. The only way is to do the things I'm interested in, or going through trial and error in certain things to find out if this is really what I want. I think if you have not find your passion, it is important to never stop the search for it even though you might think there is none, at least this will give your life a deeper sense of purpose. Then again, perhaps I'm a restless soul who is just not contending to sail through life. I've got one life to live and I wanna live it well. :)

至於我, 我無法說我找到了使命，但我會努力去尋找它。我樂於接受，透過不同的考驗及失敗，去尋找自己認為值得想要的事。我在想，假如您還沒發現您的使命或者以為自己沒有，絕對不要放棄尋找它，因為它會帶來你人生帶來一個很深遠的意義。或者我是個不斷求變的人，不願意平平凡凡地過生活。正所謂︰人生在世，希望活得精彩。

(This article is at Yida's Blog: http://tw.myblog.yahoo.com/yi7da/article?mid=50372&prev=-1&next=47089#yartcmt)