My confession

Song spinning now: 'Papillon' by Secret Garden


Have you ever see someone in need and you know you should go up to help, but you are not fast to act on it and adopt a wait-and-see attitude instead?

I was walking towards bus 139 stand in Toa Payoh Interchange when I saw two 'uncles' walking towards my direction and were talking in a manner that sound like shouting. As I was walking fast, I didn't bother to take a good look at them. As I stood at the 139 stand, I turned around and saw the two men had already walked to a nearer distance. Suddenly, it became clear to me what they are 'shouting' about.

I realised these 2 men are actually blind and they had been shouting 'Excuse me, may I know where is bus number 231?' repeatedly. Both were carrying their sticks and holding on to each other's arm as they walked on. The sad thing was that those people who walked past can't even be bothered to stop and help them. Many just passed by, pretending not to see and some even tried to avoid them by diverting their routes. There were about 6 people who passed by and none of them did anything to help.

In fact, I was no better than the 6 because from the moment I was aware of their situation, I didn't go up to offer help immediately. I was looking at them from where I stood, which was a short distance away from them, and silently hoping that one of these people who walked pass them will extend their help. In my mind I was also debating whether I should just go up and help without further delay. As I still debating, there was this man who stepped out of nowhere, walked up without any hesitation and lead them to bus 231 stand.

Conscience started to eat me away when I realise I didn't do anything to help when I knew someone needed it badly, I felt like a loser for my inaction. I don't know why I was acting so passively that day, I did have the intention to help but somehow I just didn't do it. What was wrong with me? Did I even have a heart? Was it beacause of the bad day I had that made me so unresponsive?

I know this should not be an excuse. I was a good example of someone with no action, but rather sitting around, thinking and waiting for it to happen. The consequence is that I'll be carrying that guilt with me, whereas the man who went up to help get to receive the pure joy for helping someone in need.

I guess in times of our life, we tend to encounter such situations that really put our character and soul to the test. It is the concious decision we make and the effort we take that will really set us apart from the rest. When other people choose not to do it, you go for it instead. Anyway, what's the risk of helping someone? There's really none..

I acknowledge my selfishness this time, but I'll make sure there will not be a next time. Here's a promise I made to myself. The next time I encounter a smilar situation, I will not choose to ignore or react, I will respond to it instead. :)

Most people are sleep walkers, are you one of them?

Song Spinning Now: What a Wonderful World - Tony Bennett & KD Lang


"Just as the natural physical state of your body is health and vitality, your natural emotional state is peace and happiness. Whenever you experience a deviation from peace and happiness, it’s an indication that something is amiss. Something is wrong with what you’re thinking, doing or saying. Your feeling of inner happiness is the best indicator you could ever have to tell you what you should be doing more of and what you should be doing less of.

Unhappiness is to your life as pain is to your body. It is sent as a messenger to tell you that what you’re doing is wrong for you.Very often, you’ll suffer from what has been called “divine discontent.” You’ll feel fidgety and uneasy for a reason or reasons that are unclear to you. You’ll be dissatisfied with the status quo. Sometimes, you’ll be unable to sleep. Sometimes, you’ll be angry or irritable. Very often, you’ll get upset with things that have nothing to do with the real issue. You’ll have a deep inner sense that something isn’t as it should be, and you’ll often feel like a fish on a hook, wriggling and squirming emotionally to get free."

The above paragraph is extracted from my previous post on 'Using your inner guidance system'. If this feeling rings a bell in you, I must congratulate you, for you are in the minority who truly understands that something is greater out there.

I know exactly the kind of fidgety, uneasiness and restlessness feelings that Brian Tracy is talking about. Its hard to describe what it was and its even harder trying to pinpoint what exactly I am unhappy or dissatisfied about because I really had no idea what it was.

Once 'it' happened, there's no turning back because it kept burning at the back of your mind so much that you can't live in peace with yourself if you don't seek what is was and try to find an answer for that. In my opinion, I say this is a 'wake up call' to start changing my life for something bigger and better, although I wasn't quite sure how to do it. Brian was right about getting upset for unknown reasons indeed. Most importantly, there's an immense and innate need for me to attain a state of inner peace and happiness. I just had to find a way to attain them.

I believe everyone will have at least one major wake up call in life that teaches them to see a bigger picture and to be true to themselves, its really a matter of time. This happened at the beginning of 2004, after I left my advertising job followed by a silly accident that left me with a very bad broken arm where it took me nearly 8 months to fully recover. During my recovery period, I started to question about life, about the meaning of work, about my dreams, about my time here, about everything in fact. Its a strange bugging feeling; I can still remember this weird feeling as I was lying on the hospital bed, as if something was happening in me that is going to create a huge change.

'What is this all about..what are you trying to tell me?', 'So what now, what's next?' & 'What am I supposed to do now?' were the questions that infiltrated my confused mind. It sounded like a spiritual quest, but this feeling was totally new and foreign to me, it was so intense that I just can't ignore it, pretend nothing happen or forget about it. Sounds crazy I know, but I had to do something or I'll really go mental. Due to this hunger for information, I got started to devour lots of self-development books, stories, newsletters and seminars; something which I totally detest previously but had remained my passion ever since.

2004 was an exciting year of mind and soul discovery for my 'self'. I had also met lots of interesting and like-minded people. It was an enlightening, learning and enriching process that completely affected how I perceived the physical world and my inner world, which led to another 180 deg change in my personality.

For the first time in life, I truly tasted positivism, hope, tranquility, peace, compassion and empathy. There was a sense of liberation and it's such a wonderful state that you won't want to leave. Some people think I'm weird or different, and some even said that I'm too positive and confident, which is not a good thing. Well, I don't understand how mild negativism works but whatever it is, I know I'm given the gift of freewill and empowerment and if its up to be, its up to me.

I had my fair share of depression, negativism, bad karma, inner demons and I vowed to never never go back to my old state again. Even if I encountered negative energies, unpleasant situations or conversations now, it doesn't matter at all because I'm no longer affected and this kind of inner control is absolutely wonderful. This is what I call true freedom for I finally understood the saying 'The greatest enemy is yourself'.

I don't deny that this is a form of spiritual awareness, but this has nothing to do with any religion. However, I believe that there is a set of unified, core principles taught across all religions and personal development books. I call them the universal laws of life.

Anyway, this is why I can relate to the paragraph so perfectly. To sum it up, it is about acknowledging and recognising the inner discomfort and making a concious choice in seeking a way that is true and unique to you to alleviate the discomfort. It doesn't matter how you do it, as long as you are doing something about it. For me, I found my guidance and mentor in personal development. At times, I also find that I can learn lots from others, be it good or bad people, strangers or friends, family or colleagues. I totally agree with the saying 'When the student is ready, the teacher will appear'. So do not ignore this feeling because this can be the start to a life changing journey for your soul.

Inner Guidance to Inner Peace

Using Your Inner Guidance System ~ by Brian Tracy

How to access your inner powers to immediately determine what is right or wrong for you to do or not do.You have incredible powers of mind and emotions that give you timely and accurate feedback in every area of your life. In this article, you learn how to “tune in” to yourself so you can make the right decision in every situation.Using Your Inner Guidance SystemWe know that the body has a natural bias toward health and energy. It’s designed to last for 100 years with proper care and maintenance. When something goes wrong with any part of our body, we experience it in the form of pain or discomfort of some kind.

We know that when our body is not functioning smoothly and painlessly, something is wrong, and we take action to correct it. We go to a doctor; we take pills; we undergo physical therapy, massage or chiropractic. We know that if we ignore pain or discomfort for any period of time, it could lead to something more serious.

How To Tell Right From Wrong

In the same sense, nature also gives us a way to tell emotionally what’s right for us and what’s wrong for us in life. Just as nature gives us physical pain to guide us to doing or not doing things in the physical realm, nature gives us emotional pain to guide us toward doing or not doing things in the emotional or mental realm. The wonderful thing is that you’re constructed so that if you simply listen carefully to yourself—to your mind, your body and your emotions—and follow the guidance you’re given, you can dramatically enhance the quality of your life.

Just as the natural physical state of your body is health and vitality, your natural emotional state is peace and happiness. Whenever you experience a deviation from peace and happiness, it’s an indication that something is amiss. Something is wrong with what you’re thinking, doing or saying. Your feeling of inner happiness is the best indicator you could ever have to tell you what you should be doing more of and what you should be doing less of.

Unhappiness is to your life as pain is to your body. It is sent as a messenger to tell you that what you’re doing is wrong for you.Very often, you’ll suffer from what has been called “divine discontent.” You’ll feel fidgety and uneasy for a reason or reasons that are unclear to you. You’ll be dissatisfied with the status quo. Sometimes, you’ll be unable to sleep. Sometimes, you’ll be angry or irritable. Very often, you’ll get upset with things that have nothing to do with the real issue. You’ll have a deep inner sense that something isn’t as it should be, and you’ll often feel like a fish on a hook, wriggling and squirming emotionally to get free.

Divine Discontent

And that is a good thing. Divine discontent always comes before a positive life change. If you were perfectly satisfied, you would never take any action to improve or change your circumstances. Only when you’re dissatisfied for some reason do you have the inner motivation to engage in the outer behaviors that lead you onward and upward.Listen to yourself. Trust your inner voice. Go with the flow of your own personality. Do the things that make you feel happy inside and you’ll probably never make another mistake.


Action Exercises:

Now, here are three steps you can take immediately to put these ideas into action.

First, listen to yourself and trust your own feelings. If there is a part of your life that causes you stress and happiness, resolve to deal with it.

Second, identify those areas of your life where you are dissatisfied or frustrated for any reason. What changes should you, could you make?

Third, remember that nature wants you to be happy, healthy, popular and prosperous. Any deviation from those conditions is a signal to you that action is necessary.

Rose

Took this meaningful extract from a story whom my friend 'xiaoqiang' shared in his blog. Its told by a lady with the name 'Rose', who is 87 years old and just started university. Below is an insight that she shares:

"We do not stop playing because we are old; we grow old because we stop playing. There are only four secrets to staying young, being happy, and achieving success. You have to laugh and find humor every day.

You've got to have a dream. When you lose your dreams, you die. We have so many people walking around who are dead and don't even know it!

There is a huge difference between growing older and growing up. If you are nineteen years old and lie in bed for one full year and don't do one productive thing, you will turn twenty years old. If I am eighty-seven years old and stay in bed for a year and never do anything I will turn eighty-eight. Anybody can grow older. That doesn't take any talent or ability.

The idea is to grow up by always finding opportunity in change. Have no regrets. The elderly usually don't have regrets for what we did, but rather for things we did not do. The only people who fear death are those with regrets."

One week after graduation Rose died peacefully in her sleep. Over 2000 college students attended her funeral in tribute to the wonderful woman who taught by example that it's never too late to be all you can possibly be.

If you have been paying attention to this extract, you will notice a key word and that is change. To change is to live. Even tree changes with the season and the river flow changes after a period of time, what makes us think that we human are exceptional?

If a person don't continue learning and evolving, he might as well be dead or he is a living 'dead'; even various religions teach this principle. Talking about regreats, I think the best way to find out what a person value most is to ask themselves this question 'If I know I only got 1 day to live and I look back at my life, will I see a life full of sadness and regrets or will I say I've live my life well and I am happy to go now?'

Well, almost everyone will choose the latter one but then again, how many people out there will really treat this as their life mission? People think they don't have a choice, so they got to stay in their existing job even though they hate it.

In fact, choice is everywhere. It's a matter of how badly you need these choices and whether you are willing to take on action on a choice..when a person is ready, choices will surface and the master will appear.

So what legacy do you wish to leave behind when you are gone? Give it a good thought...

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Courage

"Courage is an opportunity presented to us all to shape a vision into reality. Will you stand in the shadows or step forward and become a leader? You clearly have the choice. It's in your moments of decision that your destiny is shaped."
~ Anthony Robbins