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Wednesday, September 23, 2009

3 Godly influences in my life

God's been good to me throughout this journey with him for the past 2 years plus since I've become a christian. Although he is still a mystery power to me, I've learnt to trust in the lord and learn to let go of many things in life. Many ideals, many tough attitudes and lousy characters of mine have since been wiped out or still in the process of getting dealt with. In short these are the 3 main changes I've seen in myself:

1. Having been someone who always have a 'heart of steel' and finds it hard to shed a tear, I've become a more emotional person and find myself getting moved easily and tears will just wet my eyes when I come across an emotional scene or story, either in real life or in movies. I don't know why I've changed in this aspect, perhaps I've encountered the touch of God many times during services and worship that I can't help but cry. Many a times I've also been a broken spirit before god and will just cry out loud in my prayers. Perhaps when I've done these often enough, I've become more sensitive to God and learn to be more empathetic and less judgmental towards others.

2. God helps me to be a more generous person. After tithing faithfully for 2 years, the power of money in my life has loosen its grip. I learn how to let go of money and give to God and to bless others. I can't say that I'm completely out of the influence of money and of course I still need to improve on this, but it is definitely not as important to me now as before and parting with my money is not as difficult as it was. The main issue God's dealing with me now is my time, he wants me to be more generous with my time for his purpose, which I have to admit that I'm still struggling with and learning how to be more 'time' generous.

3. God changes my thoughts and desire towards marriage. Once I yearned for finding the right man, or rather any kind of man who feels right for me. Now, I desire to find a good christian man who knows God dearly, be willing to be lead by the lord and will learn to love me like the way Jesus loves us. I never had such desire before but since becoming a Christian, my desire for such marriage has become my vision and I believe God has given me this desire, otherwise I will not feel strongly for it.

I know there will be more changes coming my way as I learn to walk with him. People always say it is not a bed of roses to be a christian but it is definitely an exciting journey. I used to think to myself what this means, but now I know the exciting part means the good, the bad and the ugly all happening together but always towards a positive outcome God has planned out for me. The changes I've seen in my myself, God's intervention, blessing and miracles in my life and waiting upon God , my failures, mistakes and struggles before God are all part of this exciting path I need to embark on my own, but not alone because God is always with me.

Monday, December 29, 2008

A Bitter Sweet Christmas

I finally understood what spiritual warfare means. Being a Christian is really not easy, we often have to face spiritual warfare, which are things that the devil plots in our lives and family to trap us and cause our downfall. 

Ever since I was saved, I evolved to become a Christian in a very public way, meaning almost everyone now knows that I'm a Christian and I don't hide that that I'm a Christian and I share the goodness of Christ and testimonies during appropriate circumstances. I didn't know that by doing so, I inevitably put myself into facing lots of risk and I sure didn't know what will come my way. 

I had a bad argument with my mum on the morning of 23rd Dec when she start nagging at me (which happened regularly and usually I just ignored it). Actually it was a small thing, I was talking to my dad and asked him if NTUC is selling turkey because a friend of mine who is going for Christmas service with me on 24th Dec wanted to eat roast Turkey, so I thought of getting a small one and we have it after service ended.  Turned out my dad was not sure and he said I might have to reserve it earlier if I wanted to buy one. My mum soon overheard this and start saying sarcastically 'you are always like that, so last minute, you have prepare earlier for such things...', I don't know why I took her words badly this time and got angry and started shouting back 'you keep quiet lah, I just asking if they are selling it and I'm not confirmed about getting it too, why do you always have to criticize me!', and that started the whole incident. My dad soon sided my mum and saying why I talk in such manner to my mum and we start arguing.

I managed to end the argument for that moment and we soon resume back to normal conversation. My dad asked me why Christmas must eat Turkey and is it something Jesus ate in bible, so I replied its just a commercial thing that businessmen invented to earn money. That's when I heard my mum said in mandarin 'Turkey are for them who have bad temper (Turkey 'Huo Ji' sounds like bad temper 'Huo Qi' in chinese) - 火鸡是给他们这种火气大的人吃的。 That's when I had an outburst again, and an even larger one that was uncontrollable. I was offended because the words sounded like insults to me and my religion, so I start questioning her who she meant by 'them'. Then my dad stepped in again and said 'why am I so sensitive? She didn't even say anything..why am I so argumentative towards my mum...I should go and reflect on my wrong doings etc...'  Maybe he's right, I might be over-reacting. But I just can't let this matter rest because I felt being criticized for nothing and so I went on to start a verbal war with them, saying things like 'but mum shouldn't say this, why must she criticize my character? etc...' Seriously I don't know why I was so worked up this time and even attempted to go all out to win the argument. Maybe its got to do with all the insecurities, failures and pressures that I'm facing, so when I heard words of attack from a loved one, it was like adding on to this big pile and so I acted rashly, trying to protect the tiny bit of dignity and hope that's left in me. 

The defining moment came when my dad said something during the heat of the argument. He shouted 'Aren't you a Christian now? You should not be not argumentative like that, especially towards your own mum, you should be respectful. I thought Christians are supposed to change to become better, yet you are like this. Last time when I went church with you during father's day, your pastor said must love & honour your parents and you even lay hands and prayed for me, I was so touched, and now you are like that...'. He went on telling me about a story about his past, he said when he was young there was once he argued with his mum in the manner of questioning 'why' many times, and grandma couldn't answered and started crying, so he still regretted it till today and he asked me 'do you really want to see mum cry?'.

These words were like arrows piercing through me, I was so upset. Not only I felt that no one cared how I feel, it also felt like someone had threatened against me using Jesus, that I'm being held captive because of my religion and for the first time I felt like an outcast in the family. None of my family members and relatives are christian (except for one younger cousin). I felt the full impact of what being a Christian means in a non-christian family and the standards I'm expected to live up to - being always understanding and comprising to them (even if they might seem to be in the wrong), being 'perfect' in other words and that's just because I'm Christian. It was so hard for me to accept these words that I didn't know what to say. So I didn't say a word, turned my back and walked away, with tears flowing down my eyes. It's been a long time since I cried buckets. 

I felt so miserable, so want to give up. I didn't even bother to invite my parents and brother to the Christmas service because I had lost the confidence to try. The nasty side of me stood out in contrast like a sore thumb to this nice side that I'm striving to be, I just want to be alone from them. Tears would flowed out freely everytime I thought about what happened in the morning, and then I would go on to think about the issues I'm facing right now and how helpless or hopeless things seemed to be. Like a sudden bomb, this anxiety and depression attack hit on me and blew up my whole day. 

We didn't talk for the entire day and I went to the gym in the late afternoon without telling my parents that I'm out. Then dad sent an sms saying mum had left me some food for dinner but I didn't even bother to reply him. When I went home, dad broke the silence by saying there's some soup left for me and I replied him coldly 'I don't want it, I've already eaten'. He continued saying 'You don't want? Its your favourite mushroom chicken soup', I still replied 'No I don't want' and went into room and shut the door. Actually I had not eaten, I was still bitter about what happened in the morning and I want to show it. 

Yet after this act of defiance, I felt even more miserable and started crying, I was angry at myself too. It was so painful that I  could do nothing but pray. It sounds funny because the whole thing seemed to start because of Christ, but deep down I know I can't blame God and my parents because the real culprit is really the devil trying to defeat me by creating this rife between me and my parents at such a crucial time like Christmas. Yet having this revelation doesn't mean that I will feel ok in an instant, I can't help being angry and bitter and I can't control it. So I cried and prayed, asking God to remove this pain and helped me to handle this emotion. I asked for God's forgiveness and that he would removed my bitterness and to forgive my parents. Then I went to the kitchen and saw that the soup is still on the stove, so I heated it up and drink it; I don't want to be defiant anymore. I felt a little better after that but I still cried myself to sleep that night, the anguish didn't leave me totally that day. 

The next day when I woke up, things got better. There was still some side effects like I was still a bit reserved in talking to my parents. Then I went about doing my things and went to church for night service. I was supposed to invite my parents to go for the morning service again on the following day but I even bother to try, anyway a friend I had invited was not going too. 

Then Christmas day arrived, my parents came into my bedroom in the morning and wished me Merry Christmas while I was still in bed (it was the first time they did that since I become a Christian). Dad even suggested for the whole family to eat out that night, saying that it was a dinner treat for me because its Christmas Day, which is my day.I was surprised by their words and actions, yet I knew that was my their way of 'saying sorry'.  When I got up, the ill feelings and bitterness were gone entirely. 

Maybe it's God grace or maybe its my parents' love that touched me that caused all bitterness to disperse and allow us to resume talking as normal. Although I still have memory of what happened, I can happily say that I had forgotten how the bad emotions feel like..Hallelujah! God can really heal fast if we allow him. No doubt I felt foolish and sorry for my silly actions and I felt guilty about not inviting my parents to the Christmas service, I learnt something about God and my parents that day. Treat it as a Christmas Day lesson for me from God. I witnessed a higher level of God's forgiveness of my sins and how much grace and love he had for me that he turned the bad into good and created such a meaningful event for all of us on Christmas day . I also learnt that my parents are really never the ones at fault and they are such adorable people whom I love dearly. I might have failed at inviting my parents to the Christmas service, but this will not stop me from trying again and I believe they will come eventually.

Sunday, November 02, 2008

Our Weakness is strength in God

We were created by God, according to His plan, in love and with purpose -- weaknesses and all.  "God in heaven appoints each person's work." (John 3:27 NLT) 

We tend to view our weaknesses as liabilities.  However, since our worth does not depend upon us in any way, we can and must be honest about our weaknesses, knowing they do not diminish our value in the heart and mind of God but can, in fact, become the areas through which God does His greatest work.

"God chose the foolish things of the world to shame the wise; God chose the weak things of the world to shame the strong." (1 Corinthians 1:27 NIV)

Instead, we try to ignore weaknesses, hoping no one will notice.  We live in denial, assigning blame to others when we fail.  Eventually, we attempt to bury our weaknesses only to find them resurrecting themselves when we least expect it.  A powerful life embraces pain, brokenness and weakness and understands that perfection is for Heaven, not Earth. The words of Paul are profound, "God chose the foolish things of the world to shame the wise; God chose the weak things of the world to shame the strong." (1 Corinthians 1:27 NIV)

When we are honest about our weaknesses, we are conceding the fact that only God can accomplish anything good in or through us.  God's power is instantly recognizable in obvious weakness.  God has always allowed man's weakness to validate the immeasurable need of His redemption and His sufficiency in our lives.  He can and will use us if we allow Him to do so -- not despite our weaknesses -- but through our weaknesses.  We are not the message -- just the messenger.  Our weaknesses are not excuses to escape God's plan but divinely appointed opportunities for that plan to work.   

Noah was a drunk.

Abraham was too old.

Isaac was a daydreamer.

Jacob was a liar.

Leah was ugly.

Joseph was abused.

Moses had a stuttering problem.

Gideon was afraid.

Sampson had long hair and was a womanizer.

Rahab was a prostitute.

Jeremiah and Timothy were too young.

David had an affair and was a murderer.

Elijah was suicidal.

Isaiah preached naked.

Jonah ran from God.

Naomi was a widow.

Job went bankrupt.

John the Baptist ate bugs.

Peter denied Christ.

The Disciples fell asleep while praying.

Martha worried about everything.

The Samaritan woman was divorced, more than once.

Zaccheus was too small.

Paul was too religious and Lazarus was dead!

(Author unknown)

Sunday, October 26, 2008

130 Wealth Principles from T. Harv Eker's 'Secrets Of The Millionaire Mind'

1) Your income can grow only to the extend you do!

2)If you want to change the fruits, you will first have to change the roots. If you want to change the visible, you must first change the invisible. What you cannot see in this world is far more powerful than anything you can see.

3) Money is a result, wealth is a result, health is a result, illness is a result, your weight is a result. We live in a world of cause and effect.

4) You outer world is a reflection of your inner world.

5) T>F>A=R - Thoughts lead to feelings. Feelings lead to actions. Actions lead to results. Thoughts come from past programming, so change your programming and you have P>T>F>A=R.

6) When the subconscious mind must choose between deeply rooted emotions and logic, emotions will almost always win. How you are brought up towards money and finances since young will have a profound effect on how you view rich people and being wealthy.

7) If your motivation for acquiring money or success comes from a nonsupportive root such as fear, anger or the need to 'prove' yourself, your money will never bring you happiness.

8) What I modeled around money was their way. I choose my way.

9) If you believe you are not enough, you will validate that belief and create the reality that you don't have enough. On the other hand, if you believe you are plenty, you will validate that belief and create plenty of abundance because 'plenty' will be your root, which will then become your natural way of being.

10) I release my non-supportive money experiences from the past and create a new and rich future.

11) The only way to permanently change the temperature in the room is to reset the thermostat. In the same way, the only way to change your level of financial success 'permanently' is to reset your financial thermostat.

12) Your income can only grow to the extent that you do.

13) Consciousness is observing your thoughts and actions so that you can live from true choice in the present moment rather than being run by programming from the past. No thoughts live in your head rent-free, it will either be an investment or a cost. 

14) I observe my thoughts and entertain only those that empower me.

12) You can choose to think in ways that will support you in your happiness and success instead of ways that don't.

15) Rich people believe 'I create my life.' Poor people believe 'Life happens to me.' Stop coming up with victim story.

16) Rich people understand the importance of money and the place it has in our society.

17) Money is extremely important in the areas in which it works, and extremely unimportant in the areas in which it doesn't.

18) When you are complaining, you become a living, breathing 'crap magnet'. Since what you focus on expands, you'll keep getting more of what's wrong.

19) There is no such thing as a really rich victim!

20) Everytime you blame, justify, or complain, you are slitting your financial throat.

21) I create the exact level of my financial success.

22) Rich people play the money game to win. Poor people play the money game to NOT lose.

23) The goal of truly rich people is to have massive wealth and abundance. Not just some money, but lots of money.

24) When your intention is to have enough to pay bills, that's exactly how much you'll get - just enough to pay bills and not a dime more.

25) There is a huge difference between being comfortable and being rich.

26) If your goal is to be comfortable, chances are you'll never be rich. But if your goal is to be rich, chances are you'll end up mighty comfortable.

27) You get what you truly intend to get. If you want to get rich, your goal has to be rich, to become a millionaire or more!

28) Rich people are COMMITTED to being rich. Poor people want to be rich. Poor people give a lot of excuses why they are not rich, like too much work, could face robbery and kidnap, friends and family will criticize, could lose health trying blah blah...

29) The #1 reason why most people don't get what they want is that they don't know what they want. Rich people are totally clear that they want wealth. They are unwavering in their desire. They are fully committed to creating wealth, as long as its legal, moral and ethical, they will do WHATEVER it takes to have wealth.

30) If you are not fully, totally and truly committed to creating wealth, chances are you won't.

31) Rich people think big. Poor people think small.

32) The Law of Income: You will be paid in direct proportion to the value you deliver according to the marketplace.

33) Your life is not just about you, it's also about contributing to others. If you want to be rich, it has to include adding value to other people's lives.

34) The happiest people are those who use their natural talents to the utmost. Part of your mission in life then must be to share your gifts and value with as many people as possible. That means being willing to play big.

35) Too many people are playing far too small, and too many people allowing their fear-based ego selves to rule them. The result is that too many of us are not living up to our full potential, in terms of both our lives and our contribution to others.

36) I think big! I choose to help thousands and thousands of people!

37) Rich people focus on opportunites. Poor people focus on obstacles.

38) The point is that no luck, or anything else worthwhile will come your way unless you take some form of ACTION. To suceed financially, you have to DO something, START something or BUY something. 

39) Rich people focus on what they want, while people people focus on what they don't want. What you focus on expands. So focus on opportunities over obstacles. Get ready, fire and aim!

40) Rich people admire other rich and successful people. Poor people resent rich and successful people. 

41) Bless that which you want - Huna philosophy. If you see a person with a beautiful home, bless that person and the home. If you see a person with a beautiful car, bless that person and the car. If you see a person with a loving family, bless that person and the family. If you see a person with a beautiful body, bless that person and their body and etc.

42) I admire rich people! I bless rich people! I love rich people! And I'm going to be one of those rich people too!

43) Rich people associate with positive, successful people. Poor people associate with negative or unsuccessful people. 

44) Successful people look at other successful people as a means to motivate themselves. 

45) The fastest and easiest way to create wealth is to learn exactly how rich people, who are masters of money, play the game. The goal is to simply model their inner and outer strategies. When poor people hear about other people's success, they often judge them, criticize them, mock them, and try to pull them down to their own level.

46) Don't bother trying to get negative people to change. Your job is to use what you've learned to better yourself and your life. Be the role model and maybe they'll see the light in you and want some of it. Energy is contagious, darkness dissipates in light.

47) If you begin to judge, criticize, and put others down for who they are and what they do, then you are no better than them.

48) Most people earn within 20% of the average income of their closet friends.

49) I model rich and successful people. I associate with rich and successful people. If they can do it, I can do it!

50) Rich people are willing to promote themselves and their value. Poor people think negatively about selling and promotion. 

51) Leaders earn a heck of a lot more money than followers!

52) I promote my value to others with passion and enthusiasm.

53) Rich people are bigger than their problems. Poor people are smaller than their problems. Poor people will do almost anything to avoid problems, they see a challenge and run away, and that is the biggest problem of all! Rich people do not try to avoid or get rid of problem, they grow themselves so that they are bigger than any problems and are always ready to face, handle and overcome any problems coming their way.

54) If you have a big problem in your life, all that means is that you are a small person! Rich people don't focus on the problem, they focus on their goal.

55) The bigger the problems you can handle, the bigger the business you can handle, the bigger the responsibility you can handle, the more employees you can handle, the more customers you can handle, the more money you can handle, and ultimately, the more wealth you can handle.

56) Rich and successful people are solution oriented, they spend time and energy strategizing and planning answers to challenges that come up, and creating systems to make certain that problem doesn't occur again. Poor people are problem oriented. They spend their time and energy whining, bitching and complaining, let alone making sure it doesn't happen again.

57) I am bigger than any problems, I can handle any problems.

58) Rich people are excellent receivers. Poor people are poor receivers.

59) If you say you're worthy, you are. If you say you're not worthy, you're not. Either way you will live into your story.

60) If a hundred-foot oak tree had the mind of a human, it would only grow to be ten feet tall!

61) For every giver there must be a receiver, and for every receiver there must be a giver.

62) If you aren't willing to receive your share, it will go to someone else who is.

63) Rich people work hard and believe it's perfectly appropriate to be well rewarded for their efforts and the value they provide for others. Poor people work hard, but due to their feelings of unworthiness, they believe that it it inappropriate for them to be well rewarded for their efforts and the value they provide.

64) Money will only make you more of what you already are. If you are mean, money will afford you the opportunity to be meaner. If you are kind, money will afford you the opportunity to be kinder. If you are a jerk at heart, with money you can be jerkier! If you are a real jerk, you will find a way to be a jerk. If you are generous, more money will simply allow you to be more generous.

65) Being open and willing to receive is absolutely critical if you want to create wealth and to keep wealth. If you are a poor receiver and you somehow fall into a substantial amount of money, chances are it'll be gone quickly.

66) Once you truly become open to receiving, the rest of your life will open up. Not only will you receive more money, but you'll also receive more love, more peace, more happiness and more fulfillment.

67) How you do anything is how you do everything.

68) Remember to keep saying 'Thank You' as you receive all of your blessings. Visualise yourself as a money magnet.

69) I am an excellent receiver. I am open and willing to receive massive amount of money into my life.

70) There's nothing wrong with getting a steady paycheck, unless it interferes with your ability to earn what you're worth. 

71) Rich people choose to get paid based on results. Poor people choose to get paid based on time.

72) Rich people usually own their own business in some form. They make their income from their profits. Rich people work on commission or percentages of revenue. Rich people choose stock and options and profit sharing in lieu of higher salaries. None of these have any gurantees. In the financial world, the rewards are usually proportionate to the risk.

73) Rich people believe in themselves. They believe in their value and in their ability to deliver it. Poor people don't. That's why they need 'gurantees'.

74) Never have a ceiling on your income.

75) Don't trade time for money, create a way to duplicate or leverage yourself.

76) I choose to get paid based on my results.

77) Rich people think "both". Poor people think "either/or".

78) Rich people live in a world of abundance. Poor people live in a world of limitations.

79) Do you want a successful career or a close relationship with your family? Both! Do you want to focus on business or have fun and play? Both! Do you want to earn money or meaning in your life? Both! Do you want to earn a fortune or do the work you love? Both! Poor people always choose one, rich people choose BOTH. So ask yourself how can you have BOTH.

80) Money brings freedom - freedom to buy what you want, and freedom to do what you want with your time. Money allows you to enjoy the finer things in life as well as giving you the opportunity to help others have the necessities in life. Most of all, having money allows you not to have to spend your energy worrying about not having money.

81) Rich people believe "you can have your cake and eat it too." Middle class people believe "Cake is too rich, so I'll only have a little piece." Poor people don't believe they deserve cake, so they order a doughnut, focus on the hole, and wonder why they have "nothing".

82) There is no such thing as if someone has more money, somebody else will have less. There is no limited supply of money, in fact they keep printing more of this stuff everyday. People don't realize that the same money can be used over and over to create value for everyone.

83) My friends, being kind , generous and loving has nothing to do with what is or isn't in your wallet. Those attributes come from what is in your heart. Being pure and spiritual have nothing to do with what is or isn't in your bank account, those attributes come from what's in your soul.

84) I always think "BOTH".

85) Rich people focus on their net worth. Poor people focus on their working income.

86) The true measure of wealth is net worth, not working income. Net worth is the financial value of everything you own. To calculate net worth, add the value of everything you own, including your cash and investments such as stocks, bonds, real estate, the current value of your business if you own one, the value of your residence if you own it, and then subtract everything you owe.

87) The four net worth factors are: Income, Savings, Investments, Simplification. The more working income you have, the more you can save and invest. Savings are important because if you don't learn to keep any of it, you will never create wealth. 

88) The better you are at investing, the faster your money will grow and generate a greater net worth. Rich people take the time and energy to learn about investing and investments. Poor people think investing is only for the rich people, so they never learn about it and stay broke.

89) Simplification means you consciously create a lifestyle in which you need less money to live on. By decreasing your cost of living, you increase your savings and the amount of funds available for investing.

90) Expenses will always rise in direct proportion to income. That's why income alone will never create wealth.

91) Where attention goes, energy flows and results show.

92 ) I focus on building my net worth!

93) Rich people manage their money well. Poor people mismanage their money well. Until you show you can handle what you've got, you won't get any more!

94) The habit of managing your money is more important than the amount. 

95) Money attracts more money.

96) 10% of your money goes to your financial freedom account. It is NEVER spent, only INVESTED. It can be only used for investments and buying or creating passive income streams. Eventually when you retire, you get to spend the income from the fund (the eggs), but never the principal itself. 

97)  10% of your income goes to your play account. It is primarily used to nuture yourself -  to do the things you wouldn't normally do. The play account must be spent every month! You have to blow all the money in that account in a way that makes you feel rich.

98) 10% goes into your Long-Term Savings for Spending Account. 
       10% goes into your Education Account
       50% goes into your Necessities Account
       10% goes into your Give Account

99) Either you control money, or it will control you.

100) I am an excellent money manager.

101) Rich people have their money work hard for them. Poor people work hard for their money. The more your money works, the less you will have to work. Move from hard work to smart work.

102) Financial freedom is the abililty to live the lifestyle you desire without having to work or rely on anyone else for money. 

103) To win the money game, the goal is to earn enough passive income to pay for your desired lifestyle. You become financially free when your passive income exceeds your expenses. Own a business that is working for you. E.g. Rental income, royalties from books, music or software, licensing your ideas, becoming a franchisor, owning storage units, owning vending or other coin operated types of machines, and network marketing.

104) My money works hard for me and makes me more and more money.

105) Rich people act in spite of fear. Poor people let fear stop them.

106) Action is the "bridge" between the inner world and the outer world.

107) A true warrior can "tame the cobra of fear". Feel the fear and do it anyway. You don't need to kill the cobra or get rid of it, and certainly not to run away from it. It says "tame" the cobra.

108) It is not necessary to try to get rid of fear in order to suceed. Rich and successful people also have fears, worries and doubts, they just don't let these feelings stop them. Unsuccessful people have fears, worries  and doubts and then let those feelings stop them.

109) Either you are a person who will be stopped, or you are a person who won't be stopped. You choose. You have to be willing to do whatever it takes. You have to "train" yourself to not be stopped by anything.

110) Getting rich is not always convenient. Getting rich is not always easy. In fact, it can be pretty damn hard. If you are willing to do only what's easy, life will be hard. But if you are willing to do what's hard, life will be easy.

111) The only time you are actually growing is when you are uncomfortable.

112) Training and managing your own mind is the most important skill you could ever own, in terms of both happiness and success. 

113) Positive thinking is to pretend that everything is rosy when you really believe that it's not. With power thinking, we understand that everything is neutral, that nothing has meaning except for the meaning we give it, and that we are going to make up a story and give something its meaning.  With positive thinking, people believe that their thoughts are true. Power thinking recognizes that our thoughts are not true, but since we're making up a story anyway, we might as well make up one that supports us. 

114) I act in spite of fear.
         I act in spite of doubt.
         I act in spite of worry.
         I act in spite of inconvenience.
         I act in spite of discomfort.
         I act when I'm not in the mood.

115) Rich people constantly learn and grow. Poor people think they already know. 

116) If you live it, you know it. Otherwise, you heard about it, you read about it, or you talk about it, but you don't know about it.

117) You can be right or you can be rich, but you can't be both.  

118) If you keep doing what you've always done, you'll keep getting what you've always got. 

119) Everything alive is constantly changing, even for plants. If you are not growing, you are dying.

120) The learners shall inherit the earth while the learned will be beautifully equipped to live in a world that no longer exists. If you are not continuously learning, you will be left behind.

121) If you think education is expensive, try ignorance. Knowledge IS Power and the power is the ability to ACT.

122) Every master was once a disaster. 

123) Success is a learnable skill. You can learn to succeed at anything. It doesn't matter where you are right now. It doesn't matter where you are starting from. What matters is that you are willing to learn. No one comes out of the womb a financial genius. Every rich person learned how to suceed at the money game, and so can you. If they can do it, I can do it!

124) The fastest way to get rich and stay rich is to work on developing YOU! If you grow yourself to become a successful person, in strength of character and mind, you will naturally be successful in anything and everything you do. You will gain the power of absolute choice. You will gain the inner power and ability to choose any job, business, or investment arena and know you'll be a success.

125) Rich people understand the order to success is BE, DO, HAVE. Poor and middle-class people believe the order to success is HAVE, DO, BE.

126) Poor and middle-class people believe "If I have a lot of money, then I could do what I want and I'd be a success." Rich people understand, "If I become a successful person, I will be able to do what I need to do to have what I want, including a lot of money.

127) In short, success is not a "what", it's a "who". The goal of creating wealth is not primarily to have a lot of money, the goal of creating wealth is to help you grow yourself into the best person you can possibly be, to grow yourself as a person.

128) Rich people are experts in their field. Middle-class people are mediocre in their field, and poor people are poor in their field. To get paid the best, you must be the best.

129) Rich people take advice from people who are richer than they are. Poor people take advice from their friends, who are just as broke as they are.

130) I am committed to constantly learning and growing.

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Saturday, September 13, 2008

Live your calling

Look up! The great cloud of witnesses stands near, exhorting you to fulfill your mission in God's great plan. It is not too late to begin. God loves you and wants you to be included in the work of his kingdom. Listen to the voices all around that urge you to accept the challenge to live your calling: Seize the day. Make your life count for eternity. Walk worthy of your calling because nothing else truely matters.

Friday, September 12, 2008

I'm living by faith from now

There is an eagle in me that wants to soar, and there is a hippopotamus in me that wants to wallow in the mud ~ Carl Sandburg

Have you ever shared the same sentiment? Do you feel like you can achieve something but don't know what is it or where to start? Do you feel a constant urge to excel or do more of the stuff THAT MATTERS TO YOU but still not doing anything yet? 

The reason for this procrastination is nothing than the four letter word FEAR. We worry or doubt too much of our own abilities that we stay paralysed. Our tunnel vision can only see what our current situation is and cannot visualise the desired outcome or success so we can only stay hopeful. 

The thing is God loves everybody and has a great plan and destiny that is unique to each of us and will prosper us. So why are we still afraid? 

I am no exception, I have my own fears like everybody else. My fears & confusion were born out of the past mistakes, failures and wrong choices I made. I know God loves me and have a great plan for me but I still struggled with wanting to soar and feeling like getting 'stucked' on the ground at the same time. So I avoid making decisions nowadays and leaving it to God to bring clarity when I'm unsure.

Recently I made a difficult decision to leave my job that I've worked at for 1.5yrs, reason being it is not a long stay and I was trying to hang on to it for at least 2 yrs so it looks good on my resume. In fact this is the longest job I ever held (this is not a good thing) and I sincerely did want to stay for more than 2 years. It was a decision I arrived after much praying and crying out to God for help and guidance. I already wanted to leave much earlier but I held on to it because I don't think its a right thing to do and I felt gulity about leaving and there's no peace at all. 

So I endured till now and its finally eating into me. The situation in company did become better (after much praying for the company) but its me who got worst. My performance slipped and I lost heart and motivation in my job so much that I felt its better to leave now than be a burden and affecting everyone. I tried to make an effort but I can't help it, I just can't stay on any longer as much as I will like to. The funny thing now is that the more I prayed about this, the more at peace I am to make this decision. Because I keep proscrating on submitting my resignation, this thought is like bombarding my mind 24/7. Logically I know if I leave now it is a risk and might not do good for my future, but deep down I know I need to leave but I just haven't got around doing it. So I need to trust God that he knows what I'm doing and have faith in him that he will see me through this period of darkness and gloom about my future. 

I'm still not 100% sure on my direction and what's the plan after this, but I do know that the first thing I'll do is to start working on my online marketing stuff and hopefully the tiny side income and grow into full-time income for me. The income from my internet marketing continue to grow bits by bits PASSIVELY even though I have stopped working on it for a year, but somehow I think I can take it further if I work on it. It is absolutely impossible not to think about this or stay away from it when you actually see yourself making money that grows by itself passively! I can't help but be drawn back to this! 

You see, internet marketing is something I came into by chance, which I have no intial interest, planning or intention to do. Initially I just wanted to sell fashion items online but I ventured into affiliate marketing somehow. Naturally, my interest in this had grown when I see results. I believe its God's blessing not just on the financial side, but also for the little talent and desire that he had given me on internet marketing. 

It might sound like this is a clear direction for me, but I have doubts. It is only generating a 3-figure sum and I don't have the confidence that I will be so good that I can generate a full-time income within 3 months, so the conflicting thoughts of finding a MNC job with good pay and prospects are on my mind too.

So after months of tormenting myself with the question of should I leave my job and when should I leave, I just don't care anymore. The answer is clear, I should leave now. I don't know how my future is going to be like but I know God does and I trust him to protect me, to provide for me and guide me to the right places. In Proverbs 16:9, it says 'In his heart a man plans his course but the Lord directs his steps'. Surely with God behind, I know I will be fine and I will survive. I am living purely by faith from now and I thank God for this chance.

Recently I was questioning why some people can attain successful business, financial freedom, self-employment, more time more freedom, working on something they like and earning good income while some people are praying for good job opportunities with good pay, pay increments, good bosses, bonuses etc. Then God revealed something to me, he simply said because these people don't dare to dream big. God is still good to those who sincerely prayed for good jobs & its perks to come by, but if they dare to ask for a bigger dream, God can help them too. 

Many times we don't actually believe we can do what's needed to achieve our 'unrealistic' big dreams, whether it is conciously or subconciously, so we pray for more 'realistic' stuff. Dreams and visions come from God, they are usually God-sized callings. We need to internalise and visualise our God-size callings to turn it into reality with God's help. When we do that, God will start getting more involved in our dreams. This is when we start actively and conciously praying for God's help, to ask him for faith and courage to take actions, the wisdom on the steps to take, the creativity to create new things and his supernatural grace to breakthrough and his blessings to make our dreams come true. Do you agree?









Saturday, August 02, 2008

Half a year gone by

Its been almost half a year since I've blogged. Time passes so unbelivably fast that sometimes I just wanna live in denial. Denial of the fact that I'm older by 6 months and that reminds me of the long list of 2008 goals that I've yet to achieve or even get started on. Call it proscratination, or laziness or lack of time, its just really hard to get it going.

Sometimes I think holding a full-time job does affect what you really want to achieve outside work. Maybe its just me, the tiredness after work just makes me wanna do nothing when I get home. I've been wanting to start reworking on my internet business but just can't get around doing it. My day job requires me to face the PC whole day long and the thought of facing it again after work just doesn't motivate me, even if it will help to increase my income.

Then again, the thought of creating new content for my fashion portal just seems too much work and in the end I rather leave it as it is. Sometimes I thought of starting a new portal but since I don't have a concrete plan mapped out, it makes things difficult. Ultimately its really about not wanting to spend anymore time on work outside work.

I started to reflect on how I really spend my time outside work and concluded that my free time is spent on sleeping, reading books, watching dramas (sometimes only), working out, catching up with friends and church activities. Working on my internet business means I have to forego one or more of these activities, which are all important to me, or simply quit my job and do this full-time. Such is the dilemma of life, doing this full-time poses much risk, especially with such display of my laziness and lack of discipline, yet it is something I desire to do. How do one make a difficult choice like this? It is really not any child's play, considering that as one gets older, the more we have to be responsible for the consequences of our own actions. The struggles of adulthood is really like a thorn in the flesh, not really knowing how to pluck it out and produces pain if it does get plucked out.

Anyway I still think I really need to get started no matter what. With my new found faith in God, I make an effort to ask for God's help whenever I can. It is no longer something that can be achieved by my own efforts. Surely he knows my thoughts, my struggles and weakness. I leave everything into my heavenly father's hand and trust that he will help me bring about the change I so needed. Lord please help me....

Saturday, January 12, 2008

My Spiritual Journey (12 Jan 08)

Live a life of servanthood for GOD, for his kingdom and for his glory.

God makes us the HEAD and not the tail.

Be persistent in your prayers and KNOW that GOD will answer them in due time. Sow lots of faith, persistence and patience in your prayers and you shall reap! (Luke 18:1-8)

The key to success is to be humble, listen more than talk and don't be quick to react, always take the lower position and deny yourself (Luke 18:14)

We must always come with a believing, trusting, innocent and anticipating attitude towards our walk with GOD, just like little children (Luke 18:17)

Take good care of what GOD has given you (your money, valuables, talents, gifts etc) and put them to good and productive use. Do not ever take them for granted for these belong to GOD, it is GOD who put them in you, it is not because of luck or your own ability. If they are misused, GOD has the right to take them away from you and give them to someone else more deserving in his eyes. (Luke 19:26)

Surely you will have enemies and experience betrayal and persecution in life, but you will never need to worry or fear, just stand stand firm knowing you have GOD as backing and he will deliver you. (Luke 21:19)

When you are dreaded with fear and worry, you can't hear GOD even if he is trying to call out to you. Calm you mind and your thoughts and you will receive GOD. When you felt your heart burning over a message that you hear or saw in the Bible, it is GOD speaking to you, take heed. Act with faith after you hear GOD's message, run after your GOD given goals! (Luke 24:17-33)

Thursday, January 03, 2008

Conversations With GOD...

Dear child...

You have many questions about your life - why you are here, why you are in these circumstances, why you have such characteristics, why certain things happened, why it is so difficult, what is your purpose and destiny, how will the future be...

You might not find an answer from me to every question and even with answers, they are not easily comprehensible. However, I still want to leave these in you heart:

You are not a chance encounter, I have put you here for a reason. You are meant to have a great destiny and fulfilling life. I have given you a unique blend of characteristics, personality, attributes and talents that sets you apart from the rest. Do not compare yourself to others my dear, for everyone is unique, what you are set out to accomplish in this life is different from anyone and can only be fulfilled by you. Your personality and characteristics exist because they are the tools needed to fulfill it.

You are who you are because it is meant to be so in the beginning, so love and accept yourself with joy. You are called to be independent because soon you will realise you need this as you walk the narrow path with me. Your childhood, family, upbringing and moral values are not by chance, for I have it planned it before you are born. I have already start leading you even if you have not known me yet.

I have watched over your thoughts and response to love & relationships from the beginning till now, and I am overjoyed that you are making good progress. The world might frown upon you, but in my eyes these are the greatest thing that can happen and I will always make you free and pure. With me in you, you are no longer hard-hearted and incapable of love. In time to come you will realise that because you didn't comprise on the standards that I placed innately in you, you will experience beautiful things that is beyond your expectation and understanding. It will be like watching breadth-taking fireworks or wonderful sceneries everyday!

You have to understand that sometimes your prayers do not get answered because I want to give you a big surprise when it does happen, especially when you least expect it. Sometimes it is because you are not ready yet and I still need to nuture you a bit more so that you will not get hurt. Patience might be difficult but all you need to do is to put your trust in me and worked together with me, soon you will realised everything is worth the wait!

My spirit is always inside you but it remained dormant in the past, always watching over you silently from behind and trying to befriend you. I start to get active when you finally know me, because I want to be your advisor and companion whenever and wherever you go. When you call upon me, you will hear my voice and never will you be alone and feel lonely again. When trouble comes and difficulties arise, I will support you and help you get through it, you don't have to walk alone.

Know that I will never leave and forsake you my dearest, even in worst times or even if you turn away from me. This is because you are my son Jesus's dear one, anyone who is dear to him will be dear to me like my own sons and daughters. So know that I only want the best for you. When you are experiencing fears, hopelessness, confusion and difficulties, know that I am already laying out path for you to redeem you out of these traps, so you must endure for the time being and just keep on trusting me.

Remember my words, for when you looked back many years from now, you will realise that these things that I said today will come to pass. You might not understand what is going on or what exactly will happen, for these things are hard to explain but if you believe in me, you will see everything for yourself. It will be a joyous moment and there will be tears in your eyes, love, happiness and graditude in your chest.

Yes, life can be good! Always remember these words my dearest, don't ever forget...

With lots of love,
Your heavenly father, GOD

Tuesday, August 07, 2007

Music From Heaven

I've been addicted to Jarrod Elmore CD recently..its very soothing to play this, especially at night and I don't get tired of it at all. His music is light as feather and you seems to be floating along with it, as if its straight out of the speakers from heaven.

When I first heard Jarrod Elmore's music on the internet (I was at my workdesk), it captivated me immediately that I did a search on him to read up more about this guy.

Dance of Grace (2006) is the first album for Jarrod Elmore and I'm really touched by his humbleness because of what he said in the interview with http://www.cdbaby.com/:

"It reminds me that the melodies came from somewhere else. I feel arrogant taking credit for them, as if I worked so hard on them and utilized my college education to study, analyze, and perfect them. I didn't.I really just sat down and listened. And these melodies are what I heard. As I sit and listen to the record, I'm aware that I really am just a partially cool guy from Oklahoma with average fashion sense and a corny sense of humor. I'm really not anything special. God must have used my hands. That's the only explanation that I have."

God sure did a great work...his music is different from other great new age artistes like Suzanne Ciani, George Winston and Jimmy Brickman. Its hard to explain the difference but there's this element of peace and healing that reaches right into the heart and soul when you play the album and really listen to it.

Anyway his album is not even sold in Singapore and I had to buy the mp3 tracks from http://www.tradebit.com/ , I hope to be able to get his piano scores though, it's currently not avaliable.

I always have an affinity for new age and classical/instrumental music, which many of them are equally captivating. My top favs are: Suzanne Ciani, George Winston, Kenny G, The Secret Garden, Kevin Kern, Enya, IL Divo, John Barry, Yuki Nishimura, Yimura and David Garrett (my lastest fav!)

I got to learn about his music from http://www.live365.com/ , if you have not check out this site then you are missing out something wonderful. Live365 is the no.1 free internet radio and it has over 1000 channels over 300+ genre. Half of these channels are live broadcast from other countries..there's korean music, jap music, chinese music, latino, new age, jazz..whatever you seek is most likely to be found there.

Music is indeed powerful. Its really amazing how music can speak to us; we cry, laugh, smile, cheer and dream with it afterall..it is a channel that helps us get in tuned with ourselves. While songs with lyrics guide us to relate to certain issues, songs without lyrics do even more as they have to speak to our soul. And what does that means? Someone said that communicating to the soul doesn't need to make sense, if your soul responds to it then it's understood, your brain doesn't need to. :)

Saturday, June 09, 2007

My reflections on an old posting from 2004

How time flies since my last post in Dec2006 and now we have entered June2007. My oh my...1.5 years older and another few months to go before I cross my 27 mark. As I read through my old postings, it brought back the memories of the old issues that I were battling with back then and how I've grown and changed in terms of my approach and outlook to these issues and life in general. Although I'm still growing and learning through my issues, I've learnt to handle them in a more positive manner. For a fact, everyone has their own internal issues, ltitle 'voices' or 'demons' in their heads that nobody can be free from, its how you react to them that matters and it does get better with god's help.


I had to thank this wonderful and pretty lady by the name of Lisan to bring my attention to my dormant blog. She sent me a message in Friendster to tell me that one of my old posts in my blog was in the limelight again. Lisan, by the way, is a big fan of Huang Yida. Yes, my old post 'Tribute to Yida' had made its way to his blog again (it was being mentioned in his blog sometime back), this time being translated to Chinese so that his fans from China and Taiwan can understand...how thoughtful! Hey Yida, thanks for putting my article on your blog and sharing it with your fans. It is fantastic, I really like the way it is translated...I find that the Chinese version has even more meaning and depth to it, much better than the one I wrote.


Frankly speaking, I'm not Yida's fan...I don't know him well and I don't know why I choose to write about him of all people, probably because he was the only home grown singer whom I've known briefly during his pre-fame days and so his success had a direct trigger and I really admired his hardworking spirit and determination.

I'm so glad to have written this, its a testimony of his journey to success. Through his example it shows you can achieve your goal if you put your mind on it. I'm not saying that everyone can be a singer or celebrity through hard work, this industry is not for everyone and sometimes hardwork is futile because it was applied on the wrong goal in the first place. How do you know whether its the right or wrong goal to pursue? Well..its innate..you will know its the wrong one when your talents start showing up elsewhere (e.g. making jewelry, good at sales, good at business etc). So here you go: Right goal + determination + hardwork + passion = Success!

Yida, I'm happy to see how you have grown during these years. Your talents, hardwork and dogged determination have paid off, the seeds sown are harvesting and I know you will continue to prosper. I've seen so many aspiring artises failed here, probably only 1% or less make it. You are truly blessed to be where you are today and to have so many people and fans supporting you and contributing to your success, so you must continue to give your best. With fame comes the responsibility and power, I pray that you will be blessed with more and that your talents can served to inspire, influence, give back and make a difference to others, to your fans, industry and community in a positive way. Hope to see you on our local media more often..God bless! :)

Tribute to Yida (對Yida 的稱頌)


Have you truly felt passionate about something that you think this is what you wish to dedicate your life to? I always admire people who have this kind of spirit and determination to pursue what they believe in and possess the 'ain’t any mountains higher' mindset. We all have heard of the good old theory that to achieve our dreams, we have to be proactive and establish certain traits but how many people actually do it? Perhaps 1 out of 10 will do it, but only 1 out of 100 will grit their teeth and stay through the end.

你有沒有對某件事充滿使命感,而決定了你以後的人生目標 ?我一直都欣賞有這種精神和決心追求目標的人,他們相信並且擁有 “沒有任何事不能做”的心態。我們都會參考以往的好方法,去追求我們的夢想,但實際上有多少人能積極去做呢??或者有十分之一,但是,亦可能只有百之一會咬實牙關,堅持到最後去完成它。

I was tuning in to 100.3FM on my way home yesterday when Lee Wei Song started talking during the commercial break. By the way, Lee Wei Song is the founder of the Lee Wei Song School of music, where Stephanie Sun was discovered and groomed into a superstar.

昨天在我回家的路上,從電台的節目中,聽到李偉菘的對談。(李偉菘是音樂李偉菘學校的創建者,Stefanie Sun就是在那裡被發崛,及之後成為superstar。)

Anyway, Lee Wei Song was dedicating a tribute to Huang Yida - the next up and coming homegrown singer. He was saying that Yida's road to become a singer had been an arduous one, and that he had been a student with the school when it first started 9 years ago. Throughout these 9 years, his dream of becoming a singer had never wavered and he was determined to do whatever it takes to get there. In fact, he dropped out of secondary school to take the path less taken to follow his passion in singing despite strong parental objections. He even came back to continue his training as an all rounded musician after serving his NS.

李偉菘在節目中稱讚Yida Huang - 他是下位在本地(新加坡)崛起的歌手。他說︰九年前,Yida 已經是這間學校的學生,在他成為歌手之前,他的路一直都很艱辛。而在這9 年的過程中,他想成為歌手的夢想,從未搖動過,而且他的決心相當堅定,並且誓要做到。事實上,從他在中學時代就選擇退學,而且不顧父母的反對,而踏上音樂之路,都可見他對音樂熱愛的程度。他甚而完成NS (我想是新加坡的兵役)後,回到音樂學校繼續他的音樂訓練課程。

As a teenager who embarked on this journey at the tender age of 15, he had to overcome all the odds against him and face all the uncertainties in the future when his peers had already achieved much more by society's standards. After 9 grueling years, at the age of 24, he finally realized his dream. As his mentor, Lee Wei Song was really happy that Yida finally made it after coming a long way.

在這個音樂成長旅程中,對於一個15歲的少年來說,他必須克服所有反對的聲音,以及面對不肯定的未來。9年的辛勞後, 在YiDA 24 歲的時候,終於實現了他的夢想。李偉菘作為Yida 的良師益友,他是多麼高興的,因為經過這麼長的時間,Yida最終都能完成他自己的夢想。

Although it is common that the road to stardom is not as glamorous as it seems and there are always lots of obstacles involved, I still want to salute him for his success.

縱使遇到不同的障礙,都是演藝界常見的路,但我仍然想要為義達的成功敬禮。

7 years ago, my girl friend and I were sitting outside Ngee Ann City while waiting to start work at Mandarin Hotel. Across us sat a group of guys who later came over to talk to us. Among them, Yida was one of them. Yup, Yida is his real name. At that time, this grunge and dreamy guy with long hair had already exuded a kind of X-factor in terms of personality & looks - a feeling that he was different and possessed the 'I-have-a-dream' kind of look. He left a deep impression on me because of what he said to us at that time. He mentioned he was learning music at this music school and that someday he will become a singer. My friend and I were quite taken aback by his words, but somehow we never really take it seriously because technically speaking, this is not politically correct at that time.

7 年前,我跟女朋友在上班前,坐在Ngee Ann City 的Mandarin Hotel外。有一班年青人,他們走過來跟我們談話。在他們之中, Yida 是他們的當中一個。無錯,Yida 是他的真名。那時,穿著當時青少年流行的服飾和作夢的傢伙,留著長長的頭髮已經流露出一副很有個性的樣子,你會覺得他是與別不同的及擁有一副 “我有夢想” 的樣子。我對他留下了一個深刻的印象,是因為那時他對我們說︰他在音樂學校學音樂,而且將來的某一天他會成為歌手,對於他所說的話,我們都不知如何是好,在當時的情況下,我們根本不會認真去相信他說的話。

That was my brief encounter with him, although my friend knew him a bit better back then. Well, I have to say that I was quite surprised to see his new album and hear his songs on radio. Those words that he said last time meant much to him and he was not just saying it for fun. Well Yida, if you ever see this, I wanna wish you all the best in your singing career and don't ever give up on your 'never say die' attitude. You can be a very good source of inspiration for others!

那是我與他相遇的情形。我必須說,當我看到他的發行的專輯和從電台聽到他的歌曲後,我都感到驚訝。因為他當天所說的並不是開玩笑。Yida,如果您看見這文章, 我祝願您歌唱事業發展順利,及永遠不要放棄你那種“永不言敗” 的態度。你能為成為別人的推動力.

Finding one's passion is like a needle in haystack. Yida are just one of the rare souls who have discovered 'it' from young and make it the one thing to pursue in life. Most people never really know what they wanna do until much later. Some are forever searching for it, some never found it, and some found it but never work on it, while some don't even know this thing call passion.

尋找一個人的使命,就如在草堆埋針一樣。Yida 是罕見的一個,因為他從年輕的時候,已經發現了 “它”,並且不斷去追求它。很多人到最後,都從未真正知道什麼是他們想要的。有一些人會一直去尋找, 一些一直都沒找到, 一些找到了卻從未完成它, 甚至不知道這就是使命。

As for me, I can't say I have found my passion but I'm working hard to find it. The only way is to do the things I'm interested in, or going through trial and error in certain things to find out if this is really what I want. I think if you have not find your passion, it is important to never stop the search for it even though you might think there is none, at least this will give your life a deeper sense of purpose. Then again, perhaps I'm a restless soul who is just not contending to sail through life. I've got one life to live and I wanna live it well. :)

至於我, 我無法說我找到了使命,但我會努力去尋找它。我樂於接受,透過不同的考驗及失敗,去尋找自己認為值得想要的事。我在想,假如您還沒發現您的使命或者以為自己沒有,絕對不要放棄尋找它,因為它會帶來你人生帶來一個很深遠的意義。或者我是個不斷求變的人,不願意平平凡凡地過生活。正所謂︰人生在世,希望活得精彩。

(This article is at Yida's Blog: http://tw.myblog.yahoo.com/yi7da/article?mid=50372&prev=-1&next=47089#yartcmt)

Friday, December 08, 2006

What is Success? by Chris Widener

I believe you were, "Made for Success"! But then this begs the question: Just what is success? So, join me as I wax philosophical and pursue this question in this brief article.

Success has been an elusive term since the beginning of time. For ages, men and women have pursued that which would make them happy and fulfilled. At the same time they have tried to determine that which would make them feel as though they have achieved success. Some have defined success themselves, while others have been content to have others, or societies at large, define success for them. We would most certainly all agree that to a large degree, "success" is defined by the individual or group that is pursuing it.

Is there an objective definition of success? I do think that there are some general principles, shown throughout history, which measure true success. I would like to give you some principles that I believe are helpful when thinking about the subject for yourself, your family, and your career.

Before we begin, I need to say that I am excited about the direction that much of the recent success literature has taken. While I don't agree with all of the viewpoints that are expressed, I am glad that more emphasis has been placed on what I call "whole-life" success, including such things as family, health, and spirituality. Success literature that is centered on financial wealth and the attaining of material possessions only, is not truly success literature in the broadest sense of the term. While financial success is good, it is certainly not the final measurement of the fulfilled life.

To truly understand success, one must first understand the nature of human beings. I believe that you would agree with me that humans are in their very nature a trichotomy, that is, they are made up of three parts: Body, Soul (the mind, emotions, and will), and Spirit (that part of us that transcends this body). To achieve whole-life fulfillment, "Success," each of these areas must receive special attention in order to bring balance to our lives and achieve true success.

In the past, success has come to be measured by a basic core of measurable objectives, all of which, in and of themselves are fine, but in and of themselves are totally inadequate to fulfill a person. Some of these are:

Money. The accumulation of money has always been a pursuit of man. The more money the better, it has been believed. And yet many who have achieved this end have looked back at the rest of us and warned that it isn't all that it is cracked up to be. Now, don't get me wrong, having money is not a bad thing. Many people misquote the New Testament when they say, "Money is the root of all evil." In fact, the N.T. says "The love of money is a root of all kinds of evil." Money is neutral. What people allow money to do to them, is not. So the pursuit of money, in the right frame of mind, can be a good thing.

Power. Power, like money, is high on the list of success goals. And, like money, power is bad or good based on the use it receives in the hands of people. Power, whether political or simply untitled influence, can be a good thing. If you achieve power that is good, as long as you are good with it.

Happiness. This is almost entirely subjective and usually includes one or all of the other success goals. People define their version of success and then pursue it. Usually it means a sense of fulfillment and peace, which I will discuss later on.

Freedom. Whether as individuals or groups, freedom has rightly been a pursuit and definition of success. America, even with its faults, is still the epitome of freedom. This is why so many people from around the world long to come to America or other fine democratic countries. As individuals, they want to be able to choose their own destiny, to wake up every day and do what they want, to as opposed to what someone else chooses for them.

Healthy relationships. Let's face it, life is not lived alone. We are in a plethora of relationships, from the very superficial to the most intimate. Let's also agree that unhealthy relationships are not good. Nothing can bring a person down quicker or for a longer time than trouble in a cherished relationship. And yet, millions of people have realized that the pursuit of some goals have been to the detriment of their personal relationships. This is what John R. O'Neil calls "The Paradox of Success."

Health. The joy of success is not in the achievement of it, but the experience of it. It is the conscious knowledge of your success, the fruit of your success, which brings fulfillment. And if you are not healthy, you can almost certainly not enjoy your success. Your health is perhaps the most cherished of all possessions. Without it, you cannot enjoy your other possessions.

A relationship with God. For most people, eternal questions are important, even the most important. To be sure, we live after this life a lot longer than we do in this life! Having a belief in God and an understanding of his ways has long been a pursuit and goal of people, regardless of age, nationality, race or gender.

So, how can we sum this all up? What is success? Is it one of the above? All of them? Something else? I have found something that helps me understand the concept of success very well. It is the Hebrew word "Shalom." Most people have heard this word interpreted as "peace," and, in its simple definition, that is indeed what it means. But the understanding of the word peace to those who originally used this word meant something very broad. When someone said "shalom" to you, they were wishing you peace in every area of your life. They meant success to you. This incorporated all areas of your life. It meant wholeness. They were saying, "May your finances be well. May your health be well. May your mind and heart be at rest. May your relationships be good. May you know and understand God. May you be blessed in every area of your life."

So what is success? It is wholeness in every area of your life. It isn't the achievement of one area to the detriment of one or more of the others. This isn't balance and won't bring us peace. This is what the phrase, "Made for Success" is all about, to challenge and encourage you to pursue and achieve true success, peace in every area of your life. Shalom!